dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
