hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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