i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
