Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
