so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
