She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
