I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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