You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize