Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
