When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
