I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
