Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
