I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
