She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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