he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
