i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
