Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
