You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
