Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
