ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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