help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
