What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
