I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize