Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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