His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
