awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
