She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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