you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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