did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
