Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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