my vag is so smooth its legendary
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
