What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
