i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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