I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
