dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
