I feel great
I just peed on a car
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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