My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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