she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I got inside last night via doggy door
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
