remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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