Porn is love you can see.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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