Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
