if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
