didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
