Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
