i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
