So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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