And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
