i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think people are normalizing furries
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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