I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
