Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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