Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
