how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
