is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
