"it" just moved
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize