...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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