I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
