I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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