You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
