is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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