Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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