eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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