you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize