Hey man sorry I got all grabby
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
