Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
