she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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