I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
