so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
